I invite you to cross the bridge for a visit into my world.
I ask that for the time we spend together, you put aside all distracting thoughts and all preconceptions. And really listen to me, really focus on me. Leave your world behind, just for a moment. That you might more fully enter a new world.
Is now a good time? Great!
What I want to tell you is this:
There’s something that’s available that’s even better than ginkgo or krill oil to improve your brain. This something doesn’t cost anything, and it’s closer than you think.
Can you guess what that might be? Or, in this case, who it might be?
The answer: your partner! Your lover, your spouse, your significant other.
If you and your partner are willing to engage in the ritual called “Crossing the Bridge,” you’ll not only improve your love relationship, you’ll improve your brain and, in the process, become a vital part of the force for peace and harmony in the world.
- By using the process on a consistent basis, you’ll likely enjoy:
- Deeper, richer communication
- Greater and more intense emotional intimacy and connection
- Being listened to by your partner in a way you’ve never experienced
- Emotional support like you’ve never had before
- Feeling better connected with yourself
- A greater sense of well-being
- Better cooking
- Better sex
- Better brain function
What if you don’t have a partner? Or you think it’s extremely unlikely that your partner would come along on this transformational journey?
Read on anyway, because you’ll still find some useful insights. In future posts, I’ll provide tips for singletons and people with unwilling partners.
Now, let me back-pedal a little and tell you who teaches this magical ritual. Actually, there are seven rituals in all. And they’re taught by Hedy and Yumi Schleifer, a husband and wife team, who have been leading couples workshops for years called “Adventures in Intimacy.” (www.HedyYumi.org)
Hedy is a clinical psychologist and mental health counselor trained and educated in Israel and the United States, while Yumi is an engineer and businessman. Hedy is a certified Imago therapist.
Together, they’ve been running this workshop designed to help couples break free of predictable patterns—all too painful and destructive—that keep them stuck cialisviagras.com. By clearing what Hedy and Yumi call the “relational space” between couples, and turning it into a space of clarity and love, couples can not only dissolve accumulated resentments and break through stalemates, they can take their relationship to a whole new level, to a different dimension.
These same principles can be applied in other settings as well, not just romantic relationships. Hedy and Yumi also run “The Relational Organization” to teach their method of relating—of connecting and communicating—at corporations.
So, how does this relationship training relate to the brain?
You can build a better brain by creating more harmonious relationships.
It’s through social interactions that the human brain became what it is today. It’s how we survived. It’s how we evolved. Because we’re social creatures, we learned to band together, to live, learn, and play together, to communicate and cooperate with each other. And that’s how our brains grew bigger and more complex.
On an individual level, when you enrich your social interactions, you enrich your brain as well. Your brain forges new neural pathways, thus creating a denser neural network. It’s been scientifically shown that social interaction helps to build cognitive reserves and staves off dementia.
At their workshops, Hedy and Yumi explain that because of neuroplasticity, the brain is constantly changing through our relationship. You and your partner are actually sculpting each other’s brain! You’re changing your brain into a more related brain, into one that’s more capable of connection, joy, and intimacy.
It’s all about the connection. At the cellular level, dendrites seek out axons to connect; at the individual level, humans seek out others for interaction.
To befriend your partner is to befriend your brain. Rich social interaction generates more neural pathways in your brain.
To befriend your partner, start by having a respectful, loving dialogue. You sit with your partner, holding hands, with chairs so close your knees touch, gazing into each other’s eyes. Then invite your partner to cross the metaphorical bridge.
When your partner has cleared himself of mental static and come to your side, begin to share. Things that bother you; things that you appreciate; anything you want to. Your partner listens and repeats your words.
And by doing so, opens the door to a whole new way of listening. It’s a world where people can live with mutual respect, sympathy, and understanding.
You can learn the basic couples dialogue from books and DVDs on Imago therapy.
Or, you can watch Hedy and Yumi model it for you live! Besides, their process isn’t quite the same as the Imago couples work created by Harville Hendrix. Over the years, they’ve enhanced the process to give it their signature touch: Crossing the Bridge.
Try it. You won’t regret it.
One last word: I am not an affiliate (I don’t think they even have an affiliate program). I’m not receiving any remuneration for saying this.
I’m simply amazed at how a couple who’s been married almost 45 years could be still so passionately in love—so much joie de vivre! I’m also deeply touched by how human and humane they are. Despite their personal hardships and couples’ power struggle, they’ve kept their sense of humor through it all.
Truly, they can ignite your creative passion.